Psychopathic Fairy Tale

Chapter 1


Did you get him? -JM

Yeah. Shot out his tires, and he flew off the road. -SM

Excellent! Was there fire? -JM

Just smoke. - SM

EMTs? -JM

Medi-vac heli -SM

Perfect! Come home so we can celebrate our one up on the Holmes brothers! -JM

I slipped my phone back into my pocket, and got out of the car. I walked up the stairs to our shared flat and quietly slipped inside.

"Tiger?" Jim called out.

"Home," I responded.

Jim's cooking dinner? This really must've been a good hit. Who knew making Mycroft's car go off the road could make a man so happy.

Ever since Jim found out Sherlock faked his death, and Sherlock found out Jim was still alive, they've been attacking each other indirectly. Last time, Sherlock blew up one of Jim's labs. That was not a fun sight at all.

"Watcha cooking?" i asked, slipping up behind him.

He turned around and grinned, "Pasta."

The next thing I knew, there was a needle in my arm, and i was fading.

"What the hell?" I gasped.

"It's for your own safety Sebbykins," Jim said, guiding me toward our bedroom.

I hit the sheets and I was out cold.

"Sleep tight, princess," he chuckled and closed the door behind him.


Chapter 2

The next morning I awoke feeling, not quite myself. What ever Jim stabbed me with really knocked me out.

Walking into the bathroom, I rubbed my face.

Smooth... but I haven't shaved in two days.

I looked in the mirror and then I knew.

I was a woman.

"Good morning, doll," Jim said, stepping into the bathroom behind me, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.

I turned around and looked at him with horror. "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU TO DO ME?!"

He chuckled, "It's for your own good. Lestrade and Sherlock will suspect you, because I always tell you to take out the hit. But if you aren't here, they can't arrest you."

"But I am here," I told him, flinching at how high, and how American my voice sounded.

"No, you, clearly are no longer Sebastian. We should give you a name..." He mused.

"No, Jim, I'm not playing this game. Fucking change me back," I demanded.

"Sorry, Tiger, but I can't. At least not yet," he shrugged.

"You can't?!" I squeaked, flinching at my voice again.

"No, I can, I just won't. They haven't given me the reverse formula anyway," he said, nonchalantly.

I stared at him in disbelief.

"Cheer up, Princess," he said, pinching my cheek. "You don't look bad at all."

That's true. I looked fairly good for a woman. Nice curves, slim figure, some hidden muscle.

"Now for a name..." Jim said, thinking. "Why you are American is beyond me. So it has to be a common American name."

I thought about this. If I could be a woman who would I be?

"You..." Jim said, tapping his finger against his chin. "You look like a Mandi."

I just glared at him. He was having too much fun with this.

"Yes, I quite like that. Mandi Rose." he mused.

"What, no I'm keeping my last name," I said sternly.

"Don't be stubborn. You can't. You don't have any brothers or sisters, and the police no that. They'll want to know why you and Sebastian share the same last name." Jim informed me.

"But why does it have to be Rose? Can't it be something a little more masculine." I requested.

Jim thought. "Lee! Mandi Lee!"

Not bad, to be honest. "Yeah ok alright," I said.

"Good!" he smiled. "You're in charge of creating your own story however. Now go shower, there is work to do to-day!" he sang-said.




Chapter 3


Jim was sitting on the bed, browsing through his laptop when Lestrade and Sherlock burst into the flat.

"MORIARTY!!" Lestrade roared.

Jim smirked and sat on the bed, unmoving.

"Boys, check in the bedroom," Lestrade ordered.

The door to the bed room opened, and Lestrade's team poured in.

"Morning, Detective Inspector." Jim said.

"Where's Moran?" Lestrade demanded.

"I don't know. Came home yesterday, packed a bag and left. If you see him, let me know. I have an empire to run and he left me with this mess." Jim told the inspector.

Lestrade was fuming. He knew Sebastian just wouldn't leave Jim, nor would Jim let him.

"Who's in the shower?" Sherlock asked, emerging from the crowd.

"Sherlock Holmes," Jim said, looking up this time. "Didn't expect you here."

Sherlock's glare could've killed a man.

The water turned off. A few minutes later I came out of the bathroom wrapped in a black fluffy towel, putting on my robe. For only being a woman for so short of a period, everything felt natural.

When I saw what seemed to be half of the police force in our bedroom, I shrieked.

"What the fuck?!" I screamed.

I saw Sherlock's eyes light up, as though he could see right through my exterior and see Sebastian lying just under the surface.

"Oi! Who's this now?" Lestrade insisted.

"Mandi, his girlfriend!" I shouted, pointing at Moriarty. Girlfriend? that word sounded so wrong attached to Jim.

Sherlock look thoroughly confused. For all the times he deduced Jim, he was as gay as a rainbow. The rest of the police force must have thought the same. Jim just sat there and laughed.

"American," Sherlock began.

"Aw no," Lestrade sighed, knowing he couldn't stop his brother-in-law.

"Yes, how did," I was cut off by a hand.

"Been in London, or well, the UK for a couple of years. Almost as long as Moriarty's been running an empire," Sherlock stated, looking me up and down analytically.

I saw Jim's gaze go dark. This was not good. At all.

"What city?" Sherlock asked me.

The only city I've actually been to and liked was Philadelphia, so I rolled with it.

"Philadelphia,"

"Ah! The independence capital," Sherlock stated, almost mockingly.

"Do you mock my city?" I asked. If there was one thing I knew was that Philadelphians did NOT take kindly to insults on their city.

I must've past Sherlock's test based on his reaction.

"No, not at all," he said.

I pushed away from Sherlock, and moved over toward the closet to get some clothes. The room fell deathly silent as I looked for something to wear. Jim must've anticipated this, because my normal wardrobe was gone and replaced with classy outfits, and boots. Lots of boots.

The sound of Jim's phone ringing scared everyone. Sherlock jumped at the sound. It was still Stayin' Alive, and it still hurt. Jim smirked.

As Jim took his call, the police force, save for Lestrade and Sherlock, left the room.

I picked out an outfit that looked not bad. Tight black skinny jeans, A black long sleeved shirt, with a dark, dark, grey -almost bordering on black- vest, and black boots to top it off.

Stepping out of the closet, I looked in the mirror. Not bad at all. Jim gave me a low whistle, of approval. Lestrade seemed rather awe struck and Sherlock was still trying to deduce me.

"Well, boys," Jim said, shutting his computer and standing up. "She's not Moran. Are you satisfied now?"

Lestrade gave me a final look over and nodded his head, "For now Moriarty."

Sherlock glared at me a final time and pulled out his phone, sending a quick text to John, and followed Lestrade out of the room. A few minutes later the force left the flat.

"Philadelphia?" Jim asked me.

"You said make up my own story, and I did. It was the only city I knew well enough to not give anything away," I snapped.

Jim put his hands up and backed up. "Down, Tiger."

I gave him an exasperated look.

He came over, wrapped an arm around my now slimmer waist, and gave me kiss on my cheek.

"This will be fun," he told me.

I sighed. Fun with Jim Moriarty meant someone was going to die.

Chapter 4


Everyone was confused as to where Moran had run off to and who I was. Jim would simply laugh at them all.

Billy, our second best sniper after me, came up to me. "Oi! Who's this boss?"

Jim looked over, "Mandi."

"Pretty," Billy commented, giving me elevator eyes.

I punched that bastard right in the face. The sounds of "oh damn"'s and "holy shit"'s sounded throughout the room. Jim smiled approvingly at me, and I gave a little curtsy.

"What the hell?" Billy moaned.

"Never, ever, give me elevator eyes again or your nose won't be the only thing broken," I warned him.

"Boss you got a tiger on your hands," Andrew, one of the security guards that aided in the Tower break in, said.

Jim smiled and wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me in. "I do huh?"

I glared at him. No one knew he called Sebastian tiger, it was something we did at home. This would work, and I was dreading it.

"So, my motley crew of criminals," Jim began the meeting. "As you can tell, Sebastian is gone. Where he went I am not sure. After I ordered the hit on Mycroft, he came back and said he had to get out of the country. I assume it was for his own safety, so I am allowing it. Mandi will be taking his place. If anyone has objections, shut it. I know what I am doing. If you can't tell from Billy's nose what she is capable of... God help you."

I smiled in pride a little bit. No one seemed too upset, except Billy, but he could fuck himself for all I cared. I never did like him.

"Alright. So now that's over with, onto the next matter," Jim said, continuing the meeting.

Until Sherlock and Lestrade either A.) Found Seb. or B.) Retaliated, we were waiting before doing anything else of an illegal matter. In London, at least.

There was a prime minster in Russia that needed to be taken out. Billy got that job. Jim needed to keep tabs on me, so I was remaining in London. Andrew got a job in the States, something to do with Philadelphia and the gun control issues. I told him to bring me back a cheese steak, it added to my cover and laughter to the meeting.

The rest of us were on a constant stand-by in London. It was going to be dull with nothing to do, but honestly, what could we do?



After the meeting, Jim and I ran into a certain John Watson.

"Oh, hello," John said, 'accidently' running into me.

He obviously didn't see Jim, or else he would've gone scurrying away.

I nodded my head at him and kept walking. John turned around as I continued forward. Jim stopped and waited for me to catch up, offering out his arm.

John definitely saw that, and would be telling Sherlock that getting me away from Jim, would be close to impossible.

Chapter 5

"Oh, Sherlock Holmes is smart!" Jim growled, tossing his keys on the counter.

"You're just realizing this?" I asked, leaning against the door frame.

"He just makes me so mad! I wanna kill something, or, or, or,"

"or?!"

"OR HURT SOMEONE!" he screamed.

I stood there, watching his psychotic breakdown. He always has these mini breakdowns after Holmes does something clever. Through his rage and screaming, his eyes found mine. A dirty little smile played on his lips.

"Oh! Oh! Tiger," he nearly growled.

Oh. FUCK!

"No. No. No, Jim, no," I warned, backing up against the bedroom door.

"Aw, come now Tiger. Don't disappoint daddy like this," he begged.

His eyes were so psychotic. I often found myself getting lost in them. Trying to figure out what was in there, what makes the madman mad...

My thoughts were interrupted by a knee pushing its way between my legs. It wasn't like before, the crushing force of his knee against flesh. This was like a brush of pressure and fabric. It felt... good.

"Sebbikins. I know you're in there," Jim purred, grabbing my face and staring into my eyes.

God help me.

He pushed his knee up further along the door, trying to get some sort of reaction out of me. I was not used to a woman's body and how sexual they actually are. This was going to be an issue.

He kept pressing his knee up further until he heard a little gasp escape my mouth.

Fuck you, Jim.

His hand went for the doorknob. His smile was insane. What the fuck am I getting myself into again...

"Fine," I breathed, unable to take the teasing anymore.

He grinned wider and turned the doorknob. He pushed me on the room and slammed the door shut behind us.







I was asleep, with Jim curled around me, when I heard someone open the front door. Some was wheeling something heavy.

"Sherlock!" John whisper yelled. "That thing is so bloody squeaky!"

"Sorry," Sherlock whispered. "It's just really heavy!"

Oh my god.

I placed my hand over Jim's mouth to wake him up. I places my finger over my mouth, to signal to be quiet. He awoke startled, with wild eyes. When he saw me shushing him, he calmed down. I went to say something but was interrupted by John's voice.

"Sherlock! Here over here!" he whispered.

"Ah! Perfect! Help me wheel this," Sherlock's voice strained, pushing the cart along.

Jim and I exchanged glances. With a nod, Jim "fell back asleep", and I grabbed my gun and slid it under my pillow. John and Sherlock entered the room a quietly as they could. When John closed the door, I sat up and took the safety off of my gun. The sound startled John and Sherlock.

"Bloody hell," John whispered, turning around with his hands up.

"Someone's a light sleeper," Sherlock said, copying John's actions.

"What's on the cart?" I demanded.

It looked like a gas cylinder, almost like one for oxygen.

Jim stirred at the sound of my voice.

"Tiger?" he asked, sleepily.

Sherlock's eyes were begging me not to wake him further.

"Yeah babe?" I asked him.

"Who are you talking too?" he mumbled.

I grinned evilly at Sherlock.

"Holmes," I said.

Jim snapped up. "Hello, Sherlock."

Sherlock looked pissed. Even the best laid plans of mice and men go awry.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, gentlemen?" Jim asked, smirking.

John yawned, and lowered his arms. "Napping gas," he said.

"Oh?" Jim asked.

"John!" Sherlock snapped. "Really?!"

John shrugged and yawned again. Poor John was so tired. He really didn't know what was going on.

"I still don't understand you too," Sherlock confessed, looking at us.

"What's there to understand?" Jim snapped. "She was my secret. Does it matter?"

"But you're the gayest man I know!"
Sherlock whined.

"Actor," Jim said flatly. "Now please leave before I have her shoot you."

Sherlock mocked bowed him and grabbed John's hand.

"Grab the cart, we are leaving," he told John.

"Oh, Sherlock," Jim added, before they left the room. "If you wish to meet the gayest man, look in a mirror."

John chuckled, "He has a point you know."

"Oh! Shut it!" Sherlock yelled, and stormed out of the flat. "Come along John!"

John wheeled the squeaky thing out the door, and left the flat.

I put my gun back in the drawer, and cuddled back into bed. Jim wrapped an arm around my and cuddled down too.

"G'Night, Tiger," he said, falling asleep shortly after.

Little did we know, Holmes placed a listening bug in our room.